Buried Alive

It's not about A7X's song or anything. 

It's about what I am feeling right now. In my post I wrote about a boy I used to share with. *Note the used to As I said, we're now in different school, different environment. And the distance is quite far though we're still in the same town. You know what? It's almost dawn on Sunday, it means that I've passed Saturday Night. We used to text each other in this kind of night. Now, it is really different. 

Some months ago, I wrote a story about our friendship since afternoon till evening. It was only about 4 pages of A4 paper. I wrote it in longing and hopefulness. I could also cry at that time. My feeling was all spilled out. I could hold it no more. It was exactly a month that we did not contact each other. I am a girl who need someone to share with, especially someone to cure some wounds. Though we only talked about simple things, joking, talking bout our day, and yeah that was all. It was all enough for me, having someone who can make me smile and laugh.

>Back to the story. One of my classmates read my story.*bout this boy He said that the writer's feeling could be like MORE THAN FRIEND. I mean, he said that I was thinking of him as MORE THAN FRIEND. What??? No, it can't be. I am only HIS FRIEND and he is only MY FRIEND forever and ever. I cannot take this comment, because I was the writer, I was the one who felt that feeling. And I NEVER think too much bout our friendship. 

Here it comes to the real problem, I just missed him that I decided to text him one night *after a month of the vacuum. Do not talk about girl's self esteem! In a friendship you cannot include Self Esteem as a problem with a friend although your friend is a boy! Got it? It means that I DO NOT CARE at all that I am a girl and I was the one who started texting the boy. It is about friendship, dude... If I did not do it I would never know his condition or anything. I only worried bout my friend, that's it. I was just excited when I knew that he texted me back.

I got some information bout his condition. I think I should tell him how much I missed him. Of course I did not do it, it would make a kind of awkward moment - -. We used to text each other in cherish. Haha. 

>Back to the text. It was our last text till now. I knew that he was going to play in a football match. I came in order to finish my English assignment. I really meant it. Seriously, I did not come to watch him. But I did not avoid his match, however I would have no reason to do it. He knew that I was there because I was with my classmates which one of them was his acquaintance. Haha. He SMILED. I did missed THAT SMILE. It seemed so pure and easy. Glad to know him! :)

In the evening after the match, we had some chat in Facebook, but I messed it up. I missed him that I could not say or even hold it. I was too emotional that I wanted to joke as usual but it seemed like he could not catch it. It seemed like I got mad at him. Grrr. What I wanted to say was only WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS YOU? Argggh. You know? I said it implicitly, I made a kind of flattery and it was there, my true feeling. Still, It ended up with misunderstanding. Argh. That's enough. It made me crazy. 

Then a shocking event came, I opened his Facebook Profile without any purpose not long after he went off. I saw it, his status, his cover Picture*new style of Facebook. He was IN RELATIONSHIP with the GIRL in his cover picture. I would be fainted if I could. It was all clear, he has someone important in his NEW ENVIRONMENT. If there's someone near, why do you need the far one? 

No text, no contact. But still his cell phone number's in my contact and he's still in my memory. That boy is a friend who is worthy enough to get everything he wants. He has done enough things to save me for every misery I got in a year. I could not even reply one of his help. If You don't mind would you please give him the best, God? I know that You will always give the best for Your creature. Please, give him every happiness of the world and the beyond later. Thanks God. :)